Simple B!tches: Top 20

You Simple B!tches get on my nerves. Here's a hint get some class & then maybe someone will won't your ass. Due to the epidemic I've started an organization to help y'all Simple B!tches. The organization first objective is for you to recognize that YOU'RE a Simple B!TCH. The second objective is to revamp your piss poor qualities, and the third objective is to provide you with psychiatric help in the form of weekly meetings with a therapist preventing you to not relapse. You can't define a Simple Bi!tch with one word thus I'll use examples. In order for you to qualify for membership you must meet one of the following:

The American Pie

Men I know how much you love that American Pie

Ladies I know how much you love to provide men with it

However some ladies have shared entirely too much pie

Which leaves Mz-AM to address the issue

Ladies pie is that dessert you serve

On holidays, special occasions, anniversaries, spontaneously,  or when you feel freaky

To put a smile on the face of a spouse, husband, baby daddy, boyfriend, or boo

Because you know how much he deserves or need it

"I DO"

I Mz-AM take you

_____ ______ to be my husband

My partner in life

My one true love

You are God's greatest gift to me

My hope, my joy, my everlasting blessing

I will value our friendship, marriage, and love

Every second, minute, and hour

Everyday, tomorrow, and forever

I will honor and trust you beyond belief

I will laugh, cry, fight, and pray with you

I will love you faithfully despite

The good, bad, and ugly

No matter the obstacle I will be there

Attention Whore (Application)

Hello my name is _____ _____! (If applies, please fill in YOUR name in the blanks)

Yes I'm an attention whore

For those of you that do not understand

Please let me define

"Attention Whore" 

Attention whores are persons (like me)

Who crave attention to such extent

That they will do anything

YES ANYTHING to receive it

The type of attention

Negative or Positive does not matter

See I'm that type of chick that's beautiful on the outside

And clearly fucked up on the inside