Dear Dairy #4 – Healing – Part 1

The process of healing can be tricky                                          

A hot damn mess
Draining, frustrating, and challenging
However
It’s also freeing, beautiful, and rewarding
A relief, journey, and homework
I’m naturally a healer
Thus it came easy to me
To be there for others
When it came to me
I couldn’t see it
I need healing
From whatFor what
I’m good
It is what it is
What I told myself for years
I got through it
It may still hurt a little bit but I did it
I’m a conqueror
My mouth was saying one thing
My spirit was saying something else
The slap in the face of denial hits hard
Faced with truth of self-sabotage I suffered
Ignorance meets ignoring
What a conjunction of fuck shit
Literally
I was use to people saying I’m crazy
I started feeling crazy
Literally
I lost my damn mind
My mental was speed racing
My heart was piece breaking
My spirit was leak hating
My emotions was reaped raping
My love started faking
My entire being was feeding Satan
Have you ever witnessed the power of God
He stepped in just in time
At one point I wanted to give up my time
That’s right drop the dime on me
Give in and give up
Let mofo give me fake praise
While they walk pass my grave
Telling everybody how they could’ve
Saved me
Have you ever witnessed the power of God
He stepped in just in time
He reminded me of my favorite scripture
1 Peters 5:10
He made me confront my demons
He made me sit still
Recognize what I was stealing
Joy, Happiness, and unconditional love
Hope, peace, family, blessings, and all that mushy stuff
Have you ever witnessed the power of God
He stepped in just in time
He made me face him directly
I felt convicted immediately
I could hear him ask me
Have you forgotten me
Have you forgotten the power
Bestowed in YOU and ME
I cried constantly
I yelled until my voice expelled
I couldn’t take anything anymore
I surrendered
I told him
God I need help
I need you
I apologize
I repent for my sins
Please forgive me
He forgave me instantly
That is when the healing process started
…To be continued Part 2

  Feel free to Share posts and join the blog!